Monday, March 26, 2007

America's Next Top Model

The Ones I Like
Renee - As she freely admits, she is a bitch, and she whines a lot, and of course she's too skinny, but she's pretty.
Natasha - Also pretty, not bitchy, not so crazy skinny, and has a cute Russian accent. In this one episode, they were doing photoshoots based on high school stereotypes. Natasha was supposed to be the Teacher's Pet. She was all like, "Vat ees Teacher's Pet?" b/c she doesn't speak English so well, b/c she's like, from Siberia and stuff. The other girls, and the photographer and everybody was like, "she's really struggling with this shoot, b/c she doesn't know what a Teacher's Pet is." Well, you could TELL HER what it is! You could take two minutes and EXPLAIN THE IDEA to her! I'm sure they have them in Russia, too, they just call them something else. Good grief.

The One I Don't Like
There's only one of the potential ANTM that i don't like, and that's Jaslene. Why don't i like her? Well, she's always talking about how much confidence she has and how that's the most important thing, and i can't see what she's got to be so confident about. How about do a good job, then feel good about it, instead of just assuming that you're the shit and expecting everybody else to assume it, too? And the judges are too nice to her. Screw them. She'll probably win.

Here's something from a News Radio episode (one of my favorite shows) that relates to models. It was delivered by the Cute Crazy Redhead of the show.
Pretty means Pretty
Beautiful means Pretty and Tall
Striking means Pretty with a Big Nose
Cute means Pretty and Short or Hyper
Stunning means Pretty with Great Hair
Exotic means Ugly

Search For A Pussycat Doll

This show has a really awful title. That's not it above. The real one is longer and clumsier. I call it Who Wants To Be A Skank? for short. That's not really short, though, just mean. I'm a bad person.

The Ones I Like
Sisely - the Cute Punk Rock Girl; not that she's really all that punky, only in comparison to the rest. She can be whiny and she stresses out and psyches herself out, but at the end of the day she's cute and comes off about 400 times smarter than all the other girls on the show. She said she had a punk or rock band. I wonder if they have free songs for download?

Chelsea - She really can't dance, which is a big minus in this competition, but she can sing and she is pretty. After the makeover, with the Betty Page bangs, she is really hot. Like, crazy hot. I'm not kidding about the hotness.

The Ones I Don't Really Care About
All the rest. One of them will win.

Both of these are trashy "reality" shows that reward bad behavior, and i really should be ashamed to admit that i watch them. In fact, i may delete this post when my overdeveloped sense of guilt kicks in (no idea where it is right now).