Monday, March 26, 2007

America's Next Top Model

The Ones I Like
Renee - As she freely admits, she is a bitch, and she whines a lot, and of course she's too skinny, but she's pretty.
Natasha - Also pretty, not bitchy, not so crazy skinny, and has a cute Russian accent. In this one episode, they were doing photoshoots based on high school stereotypes. Natasha was supposed to be the Teacher's Pet. She was all like, "Vat ees Teacher's Pet?" b/c she doesn't speak English so well, b/c she's like, from Siberia and stuff. The other girls, and the photographer and everybody was like, "she's really struggling with this shoot, b/c she doesn't know what a Teacher's Pet is." Well, you could TELL HER what it is! You could take two minutes and EXPLAIN THE IDEA to her! I'm sure they have them in Russia, too, they just call them something else. Good grief.

The One I Don't Like
There's only one of the potential ANTM that i don't like, and that's Jaslene. Why don't i like her? Well, she's always talking about how much confidence she has and how that's the most important thing, and i can't see what she's got to be so confident about. How about do a good job, then feel good about it, instead of just assuming that you're the shit and expecting everybody else to assume it, too? And the judges are too nice to her. Screw them. She'll probably win.

Here's something from a News Radio episode (one of my favorite shows) that relates to models. It was delivered by the Cute Crazy Redhead of the show.
Pretty means Pretty
Beautiful means Pretty and Tall
Striking means Pretty with a Big Nose
Cute means Pretty and Short or Hyper
Stunning means Pretty with Great Hair
Exotic means Ugly

Search For A Pussycat Doll

This show has a really awful title. That's not it above. The real one is longer and clumsier. I call it Who Wants To Be A Skank? for short. That's not really short, though, just mean. I'm a bad person.

The Ones I Like
Sisely - the Cute Punk Rock Girl; not that she's really all that punky, only in comparison to the rest. She can be whiny and she stresses out and psyches herself out, but at the end of the day she's cute and comes off about 400 times smarter than all the other girls on the show. She said she had a punk or rock band. I wonder if they have free songs for download?

Chelsea - She really can't dance, which is a big minus in this competition, but she can sing and she is pretty. After the makeover, with the Betty Page bangs, she is really hot. Like, crazy hot. I'm not kidding about the hotness.

The Ones I Don't Really Care About
All the rest. One of them will win.

Both of these are trashy "reality" shows that reward bad behavior, and i really should be ashamed to admit that i watch them. In fact, i may delete this post when my overdeveloped sense of guilt kicks in (no idea where it is right now).

Monday, March 05, 2007

I was gonna just straight up steal Ami's and Joel's ideas and post my version of DC's superheroes, and i may yet do that, but then i decided i'd talk about what i'd do if i was the boss of DC Comics. I'm sure other people have done this before, but i don't know who they are, so i can't tell you from whom i'm stealing. (For the record, my version of the DCU would involve two main parallel worlds, one anchored by Superman, the other by Captain Marvel.)

1. More Than One Continuity - I'd put characters into worlds that suited them. If Plastic Man is too light-hearted to really work in the sme world as the darker Batman, then there's no good reason to force them together. And if there was a good alternate take on Superman or whoever that wouldn't fit into the normal line, i'd go with it anyway. For example, that Wonder Woman project that was proposed a while back, that was drawn in the Japanese "girls' comics" style, that DC turned down: I would have jumped at that opportunity.

2. A Non-Boutique Line of Books - Let's face it. The comics made for the direct market are made for a niche market of connoisseurs. I, and fans like me, dig them, but they don't suit a lot of people in the broader marketplace. If i were the boss of DC, i'd produce a line of comics designed for the casual reader. They'd take the form of magazines--a hundred or so pages on cheaper paper--and collections. I'd do a lot of research into what sells at B&N and Borders and such, and tailor the content to grab that audience. I'd be kind of mercenary about it; what sells is what would get published. The point is to get comics out to a wider audience again, and every other consideration would go by the wayside. The comics produced for the direct market would still cater to the connoisseur, but these comics would cater to the casual reader.

3. Stuff Would Be On-Time - When you solicit a comic as a monthly periodical, it should come out every month. No further explaination should be necessary.

Okay, that's enough for now. I know it's pretty general, but what do you think?